I thought of throwing in the towel, and I actually did, for a couple of days. I deactivated my FB account due to God knows what and wrote my farewell message on my blog. Maybe I thought these things were not worth it. But the last couple of days were extremely rushed, I was in an extremely bad mood and I made these hasty decisions. And indeed, haste makes waste.
On retrospection of these on-the-spur decisions, I realised that that was not what I intended to do at all. I had lost control of the pace at which my life was leading me, that I wanted to do something to prove to myself, to assure myself, that I had not lost control completely. These actions were meant to console me, and to make me feel as if I still had control over a couple of decisions. But the fact is, my blog is one of the few things worth living for.
I am back to normal now. My exams are upon me, so I will be using blogger with care. Maybe a post here, a post there, but nothing at the expense of my studies. Because I worked all my life to get to the top, and I am not ready to flush it all down the toilet for absolutely anything in the world. It is what I live for and breathe for. It is what keeps my heart beating.
I could remove my earlier post, but I am not doing that. I want to keep it as a testimony of my insanity.
Thank God you saved me from the rut.
I am back and I am never going back again.
Laus Deo.
