On Uncertainty...

Uncertainty.

This is one of the most despicable words in the English language if you ask me. It is the exact opposite of order and is synonymous with chaos. But why do I dislike and possibly hate uncertainty?

Because I thrive on order. I thrive in a structure, and I was raised in a structure. This makes me increasingly intolerable of chaos and uncertainty. But to my utter dismay, everything around me, my whole life seems to be in turmoil.

Well, to call it turmoil would be a gross hyperbole, but you get my point. Nothing is ever set in stone around here. Right now what is causing me to lose focus is the sudden barrage of strikes and a possible postponement of  a test.

Allow me to explain.

A test was supposed to happen in the beginning of next week. And I had plans for the weekend. Plans which involved spending time with my relatives back home. And like always, my plans were thrashed by the wicked demon called Uncertainty. But, over the years, I have learnt a very valuable lesson from my encounters with this demon. And it is the fact that if you have a proper plan, and the will, you can look the demon in the eye and say "Bring it on".

And that was exactly what I did. I made it a point to study, and I did just that for the past one week. I decided that I would finish my portions beforehand so that nothing could ruin my weekend. And I was proud of what I had done. I was proud of the fact that I had beaten the demon at his own game, and I had seized control of my life.

But alas, pride comes before a fall.

That, and I forgot the demon is shrewd.

He did the one thing he could to throw me off course. He spread a rumour that the test would be put off. And that really caught me off guard. I didn't know what to do. I lost my drive to study because my logic told me that the test would be put off. But the critic in me just pops the question stochastically (randomly)  - "What if it isn't?" You can tell me all you want that I should study because it will never go "waste", and I know I would do the same if I were in your shoes and you mine. But the thing is whoever is in my position, knows it is not easy. When you are confronted with the possibility of a postponement, you lose half the vigour to work. And when that possibility becomes a near-damn probability, you lose all the will. It is a fact. Not necessarily a good thing, but a thing nevertheless.

This day is over, and tomorrow, the uncertainty ends. Tomorrow, the dust settles and the demon's ploy ends. Tomorrow, whatever happens, I am going home. I am determined to have a good time no matter what. But Donald Trump's words come to mind,

"See the big picture. But be prepared for the picture to change."

I think of it as a slightly different phrase,

"Hope for the best, but be prepared for the worst."